he is dead

i dropped
out
i am lonely
 ( but the reek accompanies me )

i ask myself
why i don't cry anymore
maybe because i'm not alone anymore
( the white walls accompanies me )

my love was
and my love is
my destruction
my obession
will be my ending of it all

i don't know
i just thought of thinking
of not thinking of
commiting suicide

days go by
but i do not
recognize
memorize
i do not grow
i do not rise

all i do is wait until
my time has come

but i'm so lucky
i'm accompanied by the white walls
who are my best friends now

now you see me

my heart stops
as they stare
their eyes turn white
black and
red
staring into my soul
and i collapse
cover my face
i know i am hideous
gross and weird
i know i do not belong
i can not
i will not
belong

still they are loud
they scare out me
and there is not
a single gap for me

why
are they so different
are they so different
are they so loud
are they asking me

i do not know
i do not know

Abbadon

What if we want to feel alive
hurt ourself because we
want back was once was ours

Want to feel pain
to see the flowing blood
of the colour of love

Want to see our scars
and to scratch them open
once again

Because we are trapped
here in this cage of lies
all alone and we have forgotten

We are so near death
that we are so scared
but at the same time

What if we want to feel alive
try to remind us of feeling
because we are so numb