Nah

Why am I shaking
Why do I simply don't care and still I cry

Recently nothing makes sense anymore
I smile more I am here
and still feel more lost than ever

Nobody asked me
Nobody wanted me
Nobody loved me

And then you're there
telling me it's okay

Who are you do tell me
Who are you to get near to me
Who are you

Why did I ever even told you
I am more confused than ever before

I am shaking
I know, but I can't understand why

You can't help this broken me
Why did you fall in love with this broken me
Why are you geniune
I can't take
it
You break me more than anyone ever could
I don't want you closer,
I want you to stay
for real

Bye

Disgustig
Degrading
I am full and overflowing of shame

I feel ugly
I feel dirty
I feel like dying again

Cover me cover me
me and ugly body
my ugly personality
Bury me bury me
You have never
loved me
the right way

Why does this bring back those memories?
Why now?

I only feel hatred and disgust
against you
and me
against everyone of them

I am scared
scared only of me
scared of what will come
unavoidablely

I want the music to overscream
the piercing noise of silence
I want to tie my laces,
take a breath
and run
run
run
run
run
run
run
faster and faster
only away from what keeps hurting me
judging and restraining
abusing and refusing me
doesn't understand me
and doesn't even bothers to think about trying
Not looking back
I will run
into home
there where my heart is
where no silence is ever heard

Back on track

The mask fades
Back we are
on the field
Back we are
all alone
I've realized
home is
where my heart is
and right know it's
really not going anywhere
really not holding on
really not grasping anything

home is
that what goes by
that what leaves me alone

home is
the warmth of my tea
the bones sticking out
the rain on my face
the air I breathe
the scars I bear
the messages I reread
the tears I taste
the moon that listens
the pleas never heard
the dreams never fulfilled
the satisfaction never got

the life i could never life
now is home

I'm coming home
Oh and if you knew how much I want to drag sharp metal through my skin
I'm coming home
Oh and if you knew
If you knew
If you only knew
 

Spiegel

Ich spüre es
aus seinen Ecken kriechen
das Verkrampfen meines Körpers,
die Trockenheit meiner Kehle -
mir so bekannt gewordene Kameraden
die mich nie im Stich gelassen
Meine Knie mein einziger Trost

Die Gedanken fressen mich auf;
Es steht mir nicht
Es geht nicht
Meine Freude nur gefälscht
Die Farben, sie stimmen nicht
Weder auf noch in mir
Wieder einmal behindert mich
mein Körper
Ich möchte nicht sein
nicht so sein
weder dies noch das andere,
lasst mich
frei